I haven’t always been this way. I haven’t always been happy. Blissfulness just wasn’t apart of my everyday life. I can remember plenty of times where I seemed the happiest I had ever been. That was Until things started making me feel worse. And it was no longer attention I wanted from anyone. It was love. It was hope. It was simply just to feel something. To gain my bliss back, in the midst of seas that were empty. One thing after another happened, and I became more discouraged that no one would want to care to listen or lend an ear. I wanted so badly to escape all that seemed unbearable. And I began to fall apart. I was blinded by feelings of self-loathing, of self-hatred, and isolation. Then I met him.
I had never met someone so much like me in my life. It is this quality that makes our connection timeless. It’s the feeling of looking into someone’s eyes and seeing ourselves reflected back at us.
While I didn’t believe in myself, you reminded me the value of my life. You walked for me when I felt like I couldn’t take any more steps. We walked together. We were in pain together. You spoke out and showed your concern me for when some people didn’t ever turn a blind eye. You provided me a way to talk about my pent-up feelings.For showing me the true feelings of someone that could see I was lost. And helping me realize that the value in my life was in the people who loved me. And that’s how my road to recovery began with my own desire to change, and my desire to be better. Thank you.
For that, I will always appreciate you, Alexander.
We each are on these journeys in this life. Each is unique, filled with different successes, different failures, different obstacles, and different forks in the road. Just because that girl who’s younger than you are getting married, graduating, having a baby, or moving in with her boyfriend… that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing.Comparing our happy endings is what’s slowly killing us, slowly juicing every ounce of happiness from our lives. For my sake, and for yours, don’t do that. Don’t compare. Keep hoping. Keep dreaming. Keep working towards your happy ending. Because when you get it, it will be so worthwhile. You will smile as you’ve never before. Laugh as you’ve never before.
You too can be full of bliss, it will be wild, and It will be beautiful.