I find cigarettes to be the most disgusting repulsive and addictive thing in the entire world. Which is ironic since I use to smoke them. The key phrase in that sentence is “use to”. In just the short time that I did smoke, I noticed changes in my health that I now have to live with as a result. It was very apparent to me what was happening and what I needed to do to stop it. If something starts to take control of me, I immediately stop it.
People who don’t think that it is doing anything to them are in a wee bit of denial. I’m not sure how you can be in that world when your health is deteriorating right in front of you. But the sad truth is that most people do. Most people never stop smoking once they start. They don’t think they can or they don’t think it’s putting them in harm’s way. Either that or it just gets to the point to where they would rather be dead. They just keep smoking until it finally kills them. And it does kill them.
recently took my grandfather from me. Followed by the passing of one of my good friends who suffered cardiac arrest (to which I blame on cigarettes too). This addiction took two really important people from me back to back. Two people that I really never thought I had the strength to survive without. The worst part is that with my grandpa, who was more than just my grandpa, I slowly watched it happen.
Although it was a continuous argument between him and I about it, I’d say the last year of his life was the worst. Not a day went by that I didn’t wonder if today would be the day he would die. He couldn’t breathe, he could barely walk, and he was so skinny. At one point he started to disappear from the house just to get cigarettes & coffee.
Watching someone you love wither away like that almost gives you a sigh of relief that they don’t have to live like that anymore. I was starting to think I too was in denial. In denial about his passing. I cried as much as I could cry. As the weeks go by I am starting to realize that I’m just happy he isn’t suffering anymore and that I no longer have to worry about him. I don’t have to worry about him falling out of bed anymore. I don’t have to worry about him leaving the house and not telling anyone. And I don’t have to worry about him not being able to breathe. I just don’t have to anymore.
To me, smoking isn’t worth it. It isn’t worth your health, your relationships, or your life. I would never let something have that much control over me. And before you say anything, I know it’s not that easy. I’ve been around the block more times than I can count with more than I care to explain. No one ever said it was going to be easy. But they did say it was going to be worth it.