With so much uncertainty in my life lately, I figured this would be the perfect time to write this post. The past four months alone have been a never-ending rollercoaster. I started to feel a shift at the beginning of the year and I wasn’t quite sure why with everything that was going on. The truth is, I’m still not exactly sure.
I’ve been taking some time to do some self-reflection. Although I’m unable to pinpoint the exact reason for my smug behavior I do know that I am maturing. Maybe it comes with age. Or maybe it’s the sporadic series of unfortunate events. Whatever it is, it’s taught me a few life lessons.
Here’s what I’m learning in my twenties:
I Am Enough
I used to put so much pressure on myself to have everything all figured out all the time. And when I didn’t have it all figured out at the end of the day I felt like I wasn’t enough. One day I realized that that’s exactly what everyone else was doing. Everyone, at one point or another, feels the same way. It’s human. That’s when I realized that I needed to stop wasting my time and energy creating a pitch-perfect world for those around me. I let go of the pressure and I learned to love myself for who I am.
My Happiness Comes First
Sure being a good friend is important and being a good daughter is necessary. But constantly trying to be and do everything for everyone is exhausting. When I try to fulfill the needs of others then I end up forgetting to fulfill my own needs. This causes me to forget who I am and what I want. And what I’ve learned is that I can’t be the best version of myself if I’m doing what makes someone else happy.
Unexpected Things Happen
So far this year I’ve lost my grandfather, a friend, and a family friend. I’ve had to pay an unexpected amount of money on several occasions, close out my bank account, and get my car fixed. There was recently an altercation involving a few former friends. And Jordy Nelson was released from the Green Bay Packers. At first, I thought maybe I’m just numb. But then as time goes on I realized that I’m just releasing control. This is all apart of life, I have no control over certain situations. I just have to let it be.
Peace Is Important
One of my favorite things to do is meditate. If you were to ask me to meditate a few years ago, I would have said what people usually say and that is I can’t. I would’ve said I can’t meditate. Now it’s something I do every day to regroup and regain my self-control (to which I believe most people lack nowadays). Before I started meditating I had no idea what it meant to live a life of peace. I didn’t know what it meant to be at peace with myself and the world around me.
People Will Disappoint You
Another thing I’m learning in my twenties is that people will disappoint you. Growing up I was never able to accept disappointment. I always sought it as unacceptable and inappropriate for people to go back on their word. Ok, I still think that. But I’ve learned to live with that as a part of life. Not everyone knows how to be genuine.