Lately, I haven’t been up to parr. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Other than 2018 being the worst year of my life, I just haven’t been quite myself. I feel very complacent. Every day it seems as if the universe is against me. I’m in the midst of a court case and trying to move all the while to try to live my life without the ones that mattered most. I don’t know what to do. This year has it out for me.
I can’t even begin to describe everything that’s happened to me this year, there’s just so much. It’s constantly one step forward three steps backward. If a bus hit me right now, I wouldn’t be mad about it. Not one bit. I just want to move already and start all over. Why is that too much to ask? I think it’s the least I deserve. But then again, what do I know?
To top it all off, I probably ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. Who knows. At this rate, it wouldn’t surprise me. I’m also in the middle of writing a book as if all of that’s not enough. So right now I think it’s safe to say I’m pretty much just existing at the moment. Life is having its way with me. And I’m not happy about it.